Day 01: Humility is a Good Starting Point

I think some of the most powerful things ever said to me have been questions.

So, I know what some of you are thinking. You're looking at my time-stamps and saying:

But fear not! We are not having organized activities that go to crazy-late hours every night. Tonight a few of us just hung out and talked and took a brief trip. Our rest and well-being is a higher priority on the part of the church here (GranCo) than it is for most of our actual trip participants.

Disclaimer aside, it's been a good day. We had breakfast (i've missed chilaquiles, y'all) and a two-hour block of time to spend with God and being introverted, then we had lunch at a fantastic buffet (pr: boo-fet) restaurant. It was several people's first authentic Mexican food experience and it was fun to watch.

After lunch we piled into our two vans and headed to Obispado, an overlook that is on the top of a hill in the middle of the city. If you haven't ridden up steep, windy roads in a manual-transmission van, te lo recomiendo, as long as you trust your driver (get it, Ismael). We love to start our trips at Obispado because it's a beautiful spot to meet up, understand the lay of the land, cast some vision and pray over the trip and the city. It's humbling to see how big Monterrey is, to realize that nearly 6 million people are here, all of them loved desperately by God.

"REINDEER COWBOY!" so it turns out one of my hotel roommates talks in his sleep.

We played baseball today. When first i heard that our plan was beisbol, i wasn't thrilled (i am not so sport as Hillary), but i had so. much. fun. It was fantastic; good bonding, good conversation, good sporting.

Then...it happened. I told Elliott the other day that delayed gratification is something of a cornerstone of our faith. Sometimes, things are worth waiting for and are better for the wait. Jesus coming back for instance. But eventually all waits will end and fulfillment comes. That's what happened (fulfillment of a Wait, not Jesus coming back. Don't worry, you didn't miss it). After two agonizingly long years... I had tacos de trompo for dinner. I thought to myself beforehand "now Sam, you know that you've just built it up in your memory, they aren't that magical. they're just tacos." But no, they really were that magical.

That concludes the chronological portion of our (apparently very long) post. Let's transition to a more thematic structure....

Spiritual Warfare!
We talked about it in our training and stuff, but we surely got hit. Some physical, some emotional, some whatever. All will be well, but pray for us! I am so, so proud of how my team handled it though. I saw a lot of love go down, y'all. And that's how we fight. So much of the Enemy's scheme is to isolate us from each other; divide and conquer. But when we Love and when we speak Truth, we win.

I've felt so much Love for my team today, akin to what i feel for my HG (what up, hoi polloi), but i don't usually feel this loving this fast, so gracias to whomever is praying for team unity!

Mi Familia Aqui
Being back in Monterrey and seeing so many people again has been so good. Relationally, i am a very present-tense person (not saying that i am presently very tense about my relations ("that's not funny, Sam." well i think it is.)); i invest really hard in the relationships in front of me. And, while i deeply, unyieldingly love the people who aren't around me, i'm not very good at spending any time or effort expressing that love (is unexpressed love still love? i leave that to you). I've invested my heart in some people here, and seeing them again is beautiful. It can be hard seeing the growth and hearing of the life changes and things that i've missed. Marriages. Children. Life...even some Death. Part of me wishes i could have been here for it all.

God
This may get vulnerable, it's late. I love how well God loves me. My theory is that people love in the way they want to be loved (so watch how they love and love them that way). God loves me in way i need to be loved. He is so gentle with me, but persistent, but gentle. He sees through the walls and lies that i don't even know i've put up and He leads me into the Truth. He restores my soul.

This morning during my time with God, He asked me, "Why are you here?" I immediately began preparing my theological treatise on Love and Truth and God's Glory and Missions and Mexico...
but then he said, "What is your heart's answer?" That i wasn't really ready for. I knew the answer, but i didn't really like it. Identity. I have too much of my identity caught up in being the guy who does Mexico. I like knowing the city and being able to answer questions and feeling important because i am useful here. I guess it wasn't as much about God's Glory as i thought...a lot of it was about mine.

I felt so exposed before God. But He is so good, instead of crushing my pride or humbling me by letting me make a fool out of myself (which i am prone to), He gently showed that pride to me. And the gentleness with which He handled my brokenness was more humbling than anything else could have been in that moment.

I pray that we will always allow God to make us humble enough that he may use us mightily without pride taking root.

Day 00: If you’re reading this….

It means we’re not dead.

And: I got to sit next to Evan Grant!

We’re on our way! I’m typing this on a plane, but on a MSWord document, to transpose later. So…as mentioned earlier, we made it (but not while I’m writing, I’m still making it. #alreadybutnotyet #kingdomlife)

Our roadtrip was fun, Katie and Jay facilitated our drop-off and we arrived without incident (though a little later than my monochronological heart would like). 

WHOOOOOOOOOSH! Sorry, that was the sound of our plane taking off. 

So, we’re on the plane, all 26ish of us. I can feel the buzz of excitement in all the laughter and conversations around me, we’re ready. And it’s actually and truly happening. I’m grateful that I’m taking time to write because it allows me to process things that I’d ignore otherwise. And I’m grateful for the sneaky generosity of friends, it’s humbling and deeply, deeply appreciated (you know who you are). God is so good and I am requete excited to experience him moving.

I think that Joy is inextricably connected to Purpose and Identity. Knowing and being Who You Are and knowing and doing What You Are Made For is the deepest Joy you will ever feel. I know who I am and I know what I am made for.

Do you want to know? I know who you are and I know what you are made for... because it’s the same as me. 

I am defined by God’s Love for me. It’s the thing that matters about me, the thing that gives me life and makes me important. God made me the way I am because He loves the way I am. And has plans to help me walk more completely in that Identity.

I am made to live in God’s love and I am made to help others learn to do the same. That means Worship, that means Outreach, that means Discipleship, that means Service, that means Missions.

The extent to which you believe and live by these is the extent to which you will feel God’s Joy. Not happiness, that comes and goes. Deep, abiding, unshakeable Joy. (Philemon 6, y’all).

Anyway, I didn’t charge my computer, so I’m out of battery. I’ll post this once we get to the hotel tonight.

I cannot express deeply enough how much I desire for you to pray for us. It will literally make the difference in how things go. All I have to do is show up; you guys are fighting for us in the spiritual realm in a way that cannot be measured. God will have to show us when we get There just how powerful it is.

Gracia, paz, amor.

Not unaware.

or: "Sam's Rambly, Disjointed Thoughts on Spiritual Warfare, Plus a Tiny Team Update."
or: "P.S. Impossible Love"
or: "That joke at the end isn't funny"
or: "Enough Subtitles Already!"


We had our last training today. It was incredibly encouraging;our team is right where we need to be. It was the Spiritual Warfare/Conflict training, which is probably the most intense one we do.

Some thoughts:

I always think of Spiritual Warfare as a primarily defensive activity. The Enemy attacks, we defend ourselves and sometimes retaliate with some feisty prayer. I've never thought of the offensive side of Spiritual Warfare much; that we wage war by worshiping God, loving one another, speaking the truth and by sharing the Gospel. That's a beautiful offense.

It's crazy how Satan uses the same tactics over and over, just custom-fitted to different people. Lies. Darkness. Division. Distraction. Condemnation. Whenever we see these things, it ought be a giant red flag that says "hey! listen! (navi?) you're under attack!" Though if you think about the inherent nature of those tactics, they can be hard to see sometimes.

That's the beauty of the simplicity of how we fight though. It doesn't need to be reactive. We don't have to wait until we feel threatened. We should Love and Worship and Encourage and Speak at all times, whether we feel the attack or not (it's still there). Our method of waging warfare is beautiful and enjoyable (though stretching and uncomfortable sometimes). We Love deliberately*.

The other fantastically encouraging thing is that these attacks haven't somehow slipped past God's defenses; he didn't miss a block or stop paying attention (read Job). God deliberately allows certain attacks to come at us in order to train us, in order to bless us and refine us and make us more like Christ. That doesn't mean they come from God or that they are not designed to "steal, kill and destroy;" it just means that God has designs to redeem them for our Good.

So can we lose? Yes. And No. We can lose battles with the enemy when we are not keeping in step with the Spirit, when we choose sin and darkness and lies. But! We've already won the War. It's just the final stages now; though the fighting is still fierce sometimes.

Anyway, that's your sermonette for the evening. I won't even get started on Conflict; that's something i can diatribe on for days.

We had a team time today, broken down into guys and girls, where we talked about insecurities and hidden sins. It was so good (for the guys at least, i wasn't in the girls' group, as you may have pieced together). The vulnerability! The unity! The encouragement and prayer! Mmmm. Good. (it couldn't be "Mm, Mm, Good," that has to be the other team, for obvious reasons)

This is waxing somewhat rambly, so i'll stop now. We're leaving for Mexico on Friday; please be praying for us!



*Now when i say "Love," i don't mean our culture's definition of love. I don't mean the feel-good, happy, nice, warm, fuzzies (though it can be that sometimes). That love is cheap; it's garish.

I mean the real, crazy, hands-dirty, scandalous, self-sacrificing, do-what-is-best-not-what-feels-best, freedom-bringing, culture-transcending, never-failing, gentle, patient, fierce Love that always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. The type of Love that is impossible unless you are in Christ and filled with the Spirit.

I guess....you could say.....if you wanted......we need to be....amor like Christ.

Compelled by Love...

I'm not sure if there's a statute of limitations on topical posting, but:

Our Evangelism Training on Saturday (2/4) was awesome!
"10 days ago, Sam?? That's the length of your whole Mexico Trip..."
Yes, yes, I'm sorry. It won't be a trend, lo prometo.

Our team worked through the condensed bridge diagram; a short and simple, but muy effective method of presenting the gospel. (Ask me sometime if you've never seen it; I'd love to share the gospel with you too). We practiced sharing the gospel and our testimonies with one another - it was so beautiful to be in a room where all of the conversations people were having were telling stories about God's power and love.

The primary thing I feel convicted in with regards to preaching the gospel is this:

"The love of Christ compels us, because we are convinced that one died for all..."

If you haven't read 2 Corinthians 5 lately, take a minute and read it. I'll wait. Well, sort of; I won't have to wait since I'll already have written this, but you get me.
.
.
.
.
Isn't that crazy stuff? Anyway: to be motivated by Christ's love for a person, rather than my plan for my church's growth or my plan for their salvation or my plan for my evangelism time...what a beautiful and freeing thing this is. God is wooing hearts to himself; we're just telling people who it is that's doing the wooing. Evangelism is being God's wing-man; God is the impressive one and we're just pointing Him out (it's ok, you can quote me, that's why i put it in bold😁). "Hey, see my friend there? He's an amazing guy and He thinks you're worth dying for." God loves people more than we ever could, more than we ever could understand.

My prayer for you *i stopped typing to pray it* is that you would open your heart to God's Spirit showing you a deeper level of his love...for you, for others.

Please pray for our trip. My team is going to the Tec campus, where the choking weeds of comfort and worry grow. Pray for God to let some seed get through and some real growth happen.

much love to you.

Culture, Culture and Culture

or: "That's all I have to say about Oxford Commas."
or: "Rockin on the 1's and 2's."

Saturday we had our Cultural Training time for the Mexico team. I didn't sleep on Friday night (because, you know, life), so it was a bit of a blur for me, but it was a really pleasant blur.

We started by spending 1 hour of our scheduled 2 hour training doing a get-to-know-you exercise. It was essentially speed dating, where every person asked and answered the following two questions with every other person:
1. What makes you feel the most dead inside?
2. What makes you feel the most alive inside?

A bit weird, but it stirred some great conversation and let us get to know each other in a cool way (please keep praying for team unity for us!). It may seem like a lot of time to spend just conversating with each other; but what better way to get exposed to Mexican culture? We were investing in relationship, not task. If you are a gringo who wants to be more Mexican and you are reading this, here's the best two things to learn:
1. Relax; it will all work out.
2. People are more important than the thing you think you should be doing.
If you're Mexican, especially if you're a regio and reading this, let me know if that's inaccurate! I have a lot to learn still, but that's what I've got so far.

There's nothing wrong with being more task-oriented or more relationship-oriented, just know how you are slanted. I think God is both. I still remember when i learned that our task was relationship and our relationship expressed itself in tasks. Read Ephesians 2:8-10. Or read John 13 and 14, where Jesus says if we love him we'll obey his command...and that his command is to love.

Anyway, I'm excited to see what our team culture turns out to be like (every year is so different) and how we respond to regio culture and how it changes us and impacts our homegroup cultures when we come back.

Also, because i know you are all dying to know:
1. I feel most dead inside when my brokenness breaks other people.
2. I feel most alive inside when I get to help other people in a meaningful way. Also when i'm driving on a wide-open road.

Pray for love.
Pray for power.
Pray for vision.
All from God.

Support-raising

Joyful generosity on the part of the church brings God great glory, y'all.

Support-raising has always intimidated me a bit; i'm prideful and independent by nature. I don't like to ask for help or rely on other people. God always uses raising money for these trips to humble me (thanks God) and put me into a position to receive love from other people.

I felt it on my heart this year to try to rely entirely on other people to pay for my trip. If i wanted to contribute, to contribute to my team-mates in their support-raising, but to trust in God to provide for my trip through his people. It's telling that i kept this goal to myself; it shows i didn't really trust God to come through in this area.

I've been overwhelmed by the generosity of the people i sent letters to (and some that i didn't!). Thank you so much to everyone who has been giving. It has been humbling and i feel deeply loved and cared-for.

I'm getting pretty close to our goal and have a few more people who have said they want to give. It's still a faith question, but the generosity that i've seen so far has already moved my heart to worship God and his provision through his people.

:)

#squadup

See how a used a hashtag and a pop culture reference in my title? It's because I'm hip to the lit jive the kids are spitting, yo.

ALSO WE HAVE OUR TEAM(S) FINALIZED AND I AM SO REQUETE STOKED.

All caps is so obnoxious. But I am excited! Stephen and Hillary and Sheryl and I spent time praying and we came up with the following two teams (awesome names courtesy of Stephen):

Team Gringo

Stephen Campbell
Hillary Sykes
Claudia Flores
Zuri Sanchez
Aylin Ortiz
Maria Ortiz
Myra Rangel
Savannah Davalos
Steven Gonzales
Maegan Whitt
Matt Martin
Miranda Grey
Zachary Smith
Alex Cates
Isaiah Cruz
Emily Goldston

Team Extranjero
Sam Baker
Sheryl S
Evan Grant
Matthew Zawadzki
Travis Wheeler
Riley Knippa
Elizabeth Bustamante
Scott Fuller
Grace Muenich
Kelsie Kirk
Camden Ogier
Monica Nava

The next few months will be training and team bonding. We'll have Cultural, Evangelism and Spiritual Warfare training times. By the time we go, my hope is for the team to have a feel similar to a homegroup, where we know and trust each other deeply.

Extranjero means a foreigner; an alien or stranger. Think 1 Peter 2:11. If you've read much of my Monterrey blog before, you'll know that I think life and short-term mission trips are really, really similar. We'll be going somewhere that isn't our home, for a short time, with a distinct purpose: to see people come to know Christ.

Please be praying for us; I'll post after our training times.