Day 01: Humility is a Good Starting Point

I think some of the most powerful things ever said to me have been questions.

So, I know what some of you are thinking. You're looking at my time-stamps and saying:

But fear not! We are not having organized activities that go to crazy-late hours every night. Tonight a few of us just hung out and talked and took a brief trip. Our rest and well-being is a higher priority on the part of the church here (GranCo) than it is for most of our actual trip participants.

Disclaimer aside, it's been a good day. We had breakfast (i've missed chilaquiles, y'all) and a two-hour block of time to spend with God and being introverted, then we had lunch at a fantastic buffet (pr: boo-fet) restaurant. It was several people's first authentic Mexican food experience and it was fun to watch.

After lunch we piled into our two vans and headed to Obispado, an overlook that is on the top of a hill in the middle of the city. If you haven't ridden up steep, windy roads in a manual-transmission van, te lo recomiendo, as long as you trust your driver (get it, Ismael). We love to start our trips at Obispado because it's a beautiful spot to meet up, understand the lay of the land, cast some vision and pray over the trip and the city. It's humbling to see how big Monterrey is, to realize that nearly 6 million people are here, all of them loved desperately by God.

"REINDEER COWBOY!" so it turns out one of my hotel roommates talks in his sleep.

We played baseball today. When first i heard that our plan was beisbol, i wasn't thrilled (i am not so sport as Hillary), but i had so. much. fun. It was fantastic; good bonding, good conversation, good sporting.

Then...it happened. I told Elliott the other day that delayed gratification is something of a cornerstone of our faith. Sometimes, things are worth waiting for and are better for the wait. Jesus coming back for instance. But eventually all waits will end and fulfillment comes. That's what happened (fulfillment of a Wait, not Jesus coming back. Don't worry, you didn't miss it). After two agonizingly long years... I had tacos de trompo for dinner. I thought to myself beforehand "now Sam, you know that you've just built it up in your memory, they aren't that magical. they're just tacos." But no, they really were that magical.

That concludes the chronological portion of our (apparently very long) post. Let's transition to a more thematic structure....

Spiritual Warfare!
We talked about it in our training and stuff, but we surely got hit. Some physical, some emotional, some whatever. All will be well, but pray for us! I am so, so proud of how my team handled it though. I saw a lot of love go down, y'all. And that's how we fight. So much of the Enemy's scheme is to isolate us from each other; divide and conquer. But when we Love and when we speak Truth, we win.

I've felt so much Love for my team today, akin to what i feel for my HG (what up, hoi polloi), but i don't usually feel this loving this fast, so gracias to whomever is praying for team unity!

Mi Familia Aqui
Being back in Monterrey and seeing so many people again has been so good. Relationally, i am a very present-tense person (not saying that i am presently very tense about my relations ("that's not funny, Sam." well i think it is.)); i invest really hard in the relationships in front of me. And, while i deeply, unyieldingly love the people who aren't around me, i'm not very good at spending any time or effort expressing that love (is unexpressed love still love? i leave that to you). I've invested my heart in some people here, and seeing them again is beautiful. It can be hard seeing the growth and hearing of the life changes and things that i've missed. Marriages. Children. Life...even some Death. Part of me wishes i could have been here for it all.

God
This may get vulnerable, it's late. I love how well God loves me. My theory is that people love in the way they want to be loved (so watch how they love and love them that way). God loves me in way i need to be loved. He is so gentle with me, but persistent, but gentle. He sees through the walls and lies that i don't even know i've put up and He leads me into the Truth. He restores my soul.

This morning during my time with God, He asked me, "Why are you here?" I immediately began preparing my theological treatise on Love and Truth and God's Glory and Missions and Mexico...
but then he said, "What is your heart's answer?" That i wasn't really ready for. I knew the answer, but i didn't really like it. Identity. I have too much of my identity caught up in being the guy who does Mexico. I like knowing the city and being able to answer questions and feeling important because i am useful here. I guess it wasn't as much about God's Glory as i thought...a lot of it was about mine.

I felt so exposed before God. But He is so good, instead of crushing my pride or humbling me by letting me make a fool out of myself (which i am prone to), He gently showed that pride to me. And the gentleness with which He handled my brokenness was more humbling than anything else could have been in that moment.

I pray that we will always allow God to make us humble enough that he may use us mightily without pride taking root.