Day 05: Some Casual Satanism (and the Overwhelming Power of the Spirit)

Our plan for the day: Trust like a Calvinist, but Pray like an Arminian 😁

So, ayer, there had been rumblings that we might not be allowed into the Tec, or that we should maybe not go to let the "tension" calm down a little. So today it was decided we should go to the Uni campus where the other group is, but still stay separate. (now, as soon as i had heard we might not be able to go to the Tec today, i thought, "i wonder if God has something special for us to do at the Uni.") I was thinking it was the (huge) main Uni campus that Sheryl and i had first visited back in 2011 (whoop), pero it was a smaller campus i had never been to before with all medical-themed majors.

We had one feeling bad today (keep praying for us), but we also had Santiago join us. Santiago is an amazing guy who joined the church from last year's team. And now this year he  is helping us do outreach. #outreachgoals

We rolled up, teamed up, prayed up, started up. (now, Mario was unable to join us for lunch today, so he gave me our lunch money) I wonder a bit if the Uni team (team Uni-Vision) felt like we were up in their 'hood, hopefully not.

I'll start on an encouraging note: there was a team of highschoolers from Texas out on the campus, paired with translators from a local church (i talked to/prayer over the pastor, he is friends with Pastor Sergio from GranCo). So, between us and Uni-Vision and them, there were probably 45-50 people on that campus today praying, sharing and bringing the indwelling Spirit of God up in that joint. Spiritual warfare for the win.

The Evan Grant and i paired up today, which is awesome. Then something really strange happened (though i'm glad i can say nowadays that it's strange). i socially shut down. i felt super nervous and timid around all the people, i had so much trouble speaking any Spanish at all...Evan and i walked around, climbed on a roof, prayed a bit and tried every now and then to talk to people, none of them went very well. I was super impressed with Evan though, he was encouraging and patient and helped me process through it a bit. Then, when we had about 20 minutes left before lunch, i kinda gave up and we decided to head early to the lunchtime meet-up spot.

Then we saw a guy. He was just chilling and i felt The Tug (tu lo sabes), so we headed over and started talking to him. I started straight off with letting him know who we were and what we were talking about and he seemed interested. He talked a little about growing up in the church and sounded pretty agnostic about God...until he started talking about his interest in Satan and Lucifer* and how they were different and not as bad as people thought and.....wait. what?

Yea, i was a bit taken aback as well. But, i didn't show it and he kept talking a bit. But we ran out of time and had to go to lunch, so i invited him to come with us.

Lunch was really stressful for me. I had trouble understanding what was going on and the cafeteria food was not really in line with the eating needs of some of our team and it was kind of a mess. I think i was a little short with people. But Santiago (what a champ) helped me and we got everyone fed. (thanks to the team for being understanding with me)

Lunchtime conversation with our new-found friend was pretty chill. We talked about music and culture and food and a bit of everything. After lunch, while Scott, Evan and i were sitting with him, i poked at the Satan question again. Here's the basics of what he said (please not the quotation marks below):

"Satan and Lucifer are different and really not so bad if you understand them. They just believe in the equality of people and animals (they're the same level). They didn't want to serve humans because we're imperfect and they are glorious, so they stopped following God. Satan is the enemy of people, but Lucifer is not so bad."

We also talked a bit about his views on Hitler ("not justified, but definitely understandable if you look at his point of view") and on politics and the church ("not connected to God, people doing bad things in God's name") and just the world in general ("everyone has something good to say, a piece of Truth, you just have to be willing to listen"). Some of it has some truth to it, but it was all pretty twisty. (now, i firmly believe that when people have a lot of well-developed philosophy that has twisty truth, they're probably carrying some hurt in their heart that their head is trying to make sense of).

After a bit of rabbit-trailing and weird politics, i think Scott and Evan started praying and God stepped in. That's when things started to change.

I asked him, given that everyone had some truth in their perspective, how we could know what was Truth and what was not. We came to the answer that unless God helps us, we cannot know Truth. I asked him if he thought there were any people in the world that were actually good. He said yes, that people only did bad things from ignorance or good motivations, but as we dug into that he decided that all people are broken and imperfect. I shared about brokenness in my life, the fear and sadness i used to feel before i knew God. It even was able (gracias a Dios) to connect to our earlier conversation about how my taste in music had changed (i grew up on some emo jams, y'all) as God had begun to heal my brokenness. We poked at some gospel truths about God wanting to heal. Then the bass dropped.

He shared that he wasn't from this campus, he came to see a counselor, because things in his life were dark. He felt abandoned by friends, he did not like the way he was physically, mentally or emotionally. The day before had been terrible and, in a moment of desperation, he had called out to God and asked him for help. Then, that day he had brought a small crucifix with him to campus in his pocket. He forgot about it and then found it in his pocket again right before we walked up to him. So, at this point, i just lose it a bit, i chose not to cry, told him about our original plans for the day and asked him, "Mira, you weren't supposed to be here, we weren't supposed to be here. You asked God to give you help and we came along, now we've been talking about God for 4 hours. Do you think there is any chance that could be a coincidence?" He said no and i told him God sent us to him so we could share a message with him. A message that could help him.

Over the years i've shared the gospel several times. Mexico, HG, Outreach, etc. I've never shared the gospel as passionately or eloquently as i shared today. I can't reproduce it here because they weren't my words. Evan and Scott were praying and the Spirit was speaking and it was lit. He didn't accept Christ today, but i have a lot of faith that God will have his heart soon. Pray like crazy for him. Please.

We had a few new people come to the "homegroup" (grupo de crecimiento) tonight and make solid connections. Pray that the church here nails that follow-up. It was a fun night for most of us; loud, late, games, jokes, pictures, Christian pick-up lines, exploding chairs, great food.

I don't really feel i need to stress the importance of prayer after a day like today. Guys, be praying. We need it so badly, it has to be God moving.

much Love.

*Lucifer: fun fact, "Lucifer" is probably not actually in your Bible. It's in one verse in one translation in a prophecy directed to a pagan king. It's not actually a name for Satan, that's just a misunderstanding of Isaiah in the KJV that became a cultural thing (thanks, Dante) and is an example of how we sometimes let Tradition shape our theology instead of Scripture.

Day 04: Press, Pace, Position, Pray

FOCUS FOX!

Sorry, i'm having trouble keeping my brain together while i am typing. Sheryl is wanting my attention while people are all

Hang on i have to take a pause.

Ok, distraction handled.... Handled in a good way, Sheryl's fine, don't panic.

So, today started out pretty slow in terms of how outreach felt. It didn't feel bad or discouraging, it just was more difficult to get into the gospel and spiritual things with people. We even scared one guy away by talking about how fragile life is.

Lunch was really encouraging, we had some of our contacts from yesterday join us and it looks like they may stick around and get connected, which would be the literal best-case scenario. Please pray for Raul. He's awesome.

In the afternoon, i paired up with Evan Grant (that's my roommate! (there, not here)). We started walking and i looked over and a girl sitting at a table nearby caught my eye (does that sound weird? not like that, y'all, come on). I was apprehensive about approaching her because it was two random American guys coming out of nowhere to talk to her...didn't want to send the wrong message. But we talked to her anyway. Brief transcript:
S: Disculpe, ¿hablas inglés?
AP: Of course, what's up?
S: Oh good! We're from Texas and just visiting for a week.
AP: Me too! I'm just visiting my boyfriend (#bless) for the week. I'm from Laredo, but i study in College Station.

Yup. She was an Aggie. In Monterrey. I don't know if you folks believe in coincidences, but i don't. Especially not when i'm doing outreach on a mission trip. We talked for a while about just about everything. We got to pray for her and share the gospel, she lives about a mile from my house in College Station andgoes to St. Mary's, but is figuring out how her fe. It was a really encouraging conversation, she was fun and attentive and had some profound insight into the world. We got to meet her boyfriend, but we had to part ways. I didn't want homeboy to get the wrong message either, so i gave her my email and Facebook information and let it be.

 One concern: this is live and unfolding, but someone at the Tec today told us we couldn't do outreach without a permit. It was one of the guards and he was on the phone with Mario, he was friendly and said we should be careful. We are trying to decide if we're going to go again tomorrow and just hope it works, go to off-campus areas near the Tec or jump in with the crew that's been going to the Uni... we will see...

We also played futbol today - well, it was the activity our group did - i hung out and played with a frisbee and wrestled Matthew and stuff... And afterwards, ¡tacos!

During dinner, i got to sit and talk with David for a while. He and his wife and a few other couples recently moved to a new neighborhood on the outskirts of Monterrey. The growth rate of the city means that what was recently out in the boonies is now a booming zona (suburb) with all the restaurants and amenities you could imagine. The cool thing is how they're approaching it: each zona in the city has its own culture and feel, but since theirs is so new, they're able to impact the development of the culture they're in. By reaching out to their neighbors and loving people well, the people in their neighborhood are beginning to love each other and develop a friendly, open culture. How cool is that?

Challenge: look at the cultures you find yourself in. You have an opportunity to define that culture, to shape it. So take steps to do so in a way that glorifies Christ.

It's ok if that title doesn't make sense.

Day 03: Harvest

or: lol, God.

So i'm typing while Javier plays his guitarra, i may randomly break into song. Apologies in advance. Though now that i've said that, i'll probably just do it because i think it's funny.

Today was lit, as the kids say. It was straight fire. If you were praying for us, thank you. Today was the best single day of outreach i've seen at the Tec...like, ever y'all. (and from what the Uni team says, it was pretty similar for them). I was teamed up with Monica today, it was super encouraging. She did a fantastic job in the conversations we had, even shared the gospel with a girl :)

ON A DARK DESERT HIGHWAY, COOL WIND IN MY HAIR...

Other groups: Elizabeth & Evan, Kelsie & Camden, Sheryl & Grace, Travis & Scott, Riley & Matthew

Some highlights:
-One group saw two salvations!
-We met a couple of solid believers on campus (this has been historically rare), we trained one guy in how to do outreach and he may join us to share the gospel later.
-We had two teams get onto a roof and make a great connection with a guy sleeping there. Then they all got kicked off the roof.
-People were incredibly open about their views on life, their pasts, hurts, politics, faith, everything...

SHA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-TI-DA (just like that)

If i dug into all the depth of all the stories we experienced, i would run out of internet. I will tell to you, however, the last story of the day. After our day of incredibly successful outreach, Monica and i talked to a girl who, though young, had incredibly well-developed views and thoughts on the church and life and stuff. Her name was Teresa and we talked to her for quite a while. She is studying to be a chemical engineer, while taking classes online for law school. She felt that the church she grew up in was too concerned with structure and not concerned enough with loving people or creating unity in a world divided. We talked in-depth about how broken the world is and, when asked what she though the solution was, she said that if the church did its job, that would do the job. Anyway, we talked about name meanings, she said her name means "Harvest."

so that's just all i have to say about that.

now we're playing fishbowl, "papelitos," listening to Javier play, generally chillin.

Day 02: One More Day Before the Storm

Les Mis, anybody?

Well, the internet password changed, so this post took longer than expected.

We woke up today, had a prayer time (mmmmm), hung out in the plaza of the hotel, got in trouble with the hotel staff for being too American loud, and eventually headed to church. Church was exciting and upbeat and everyone was super glad to see us. It was really encouraging to worship in Spanish and hear Pastor Sergio preach and seeing a bunch of friends I hadn't yet.

After church, we got mas tacos and chilled and talked and talked and chilled in the restaurant (El Buey) for a good while. I've really enjoyed getting to meet the people in the church that got close to the team last year! Good people, good connections, good times.

Our post-lunch  plans got shifted around a little, but we spent some time in a large central plaza in downtown Monterrey (think Riverwalk in San Antonio + Capitol in Austin). We took pictures and climbed on things, bonded with our team and with the church peeps here some more.

Around 6, we headed back to the church for a meeting of our teams and the leadership of the homegroups in GranCo (Iglesia Gran Comisión). We talked through our schedule and our plans and their expectations and hopes and our expectations and hopes…my little logistical heart was buzzing. And. And. And….Sophia was there. Sophia, for those who remember, is the daughter of Edgar and Jenifer Reyes, with whom i lived in 2011 (yes, i did say that in Spanish (also: Whoop)). She was 3 years old. We played and fought and generally had a grand time, being on the same maturity level emotionally and linguistically. She’s so big now, i almost didn’t recognize her. Goodness. And Edgar and Jenifer now have another little hija, Victoria. My homegroup can just take a second and imagine the cuteness overload noises my heart is making.

Beuno, entonces leaving the church and getting chased and tackled in the parking garage and having all of my buttons pushed (and unbuttoned (i don't feel the need to clarify by whom)), then driving and some rain and singing Veggie Tales in the car and dinner (trompo for days, y’all) and more conversation.

Back at the hotel, we made plans for tomorrow, the somehow a detachment of my team ended up in the exercise room here, talking through deep, scary theological issues and watching YouTube videos about Seagulls. Finally, i had to say “Mmm, stop it now,” and call it a night.

I have a lot of thinks on my brain now, but none of them are formulated enough to type out. I’m largely confident i had another rambly sermonette for you folks for tonight, but it got lost in the brain shuffle somewhere. I guess the summaries of our day are what you’re actually here for, the theological rabbit trails that end up in here are just bonus material. All for free.

Guys, it’s going down tomorrow. Pray and pray and pray. We'll be on the Tec Campus. Our primary goal is to make deep connections with people who are spiritually interested. My heart wants to get out there and share the gospel with as many people as possible, but i'm trying to learn how much more strategic it is to be Spirit-led and let God bring me to the people who are ripe to hear. Because they then increase the number of people who will be laborers. We're not just desiring to create converts or even disciples, we want to partner with God in creating Disciple-makers, or Disciple-maker-makers, if you track with what i'm saying. 

Here's the thing about our plans and our efforts (oh, dang, we found the soapbox): they're cute and they're well-intentioned, but if they aren't in line with what God is doing, they are wasted. God can do more with 5 minutes of my time than i can do with 5 years. Something about Him being all-powerful and wise and stuff. Submitting yourself to God's leading via His Spirit is the wisest thing you can do, even if it defies conventional wisdom; it's the most efficient thing you can do, even if it seems nonstrategic; it's the most powerful thing you can do, even if it (especially if?) it makes you feel weak.

Taking some time to pray during the day might literalmente be the most important thing we do. There is nothing less True about prayer than to think of it as a waste of time.

Please, please pray for us today. Please, please pray for yourself today. We may be on a short-term mission trip, but i'd be willing to bet that you're in the middle of a mission field too if you look for it.

Hope i didn't get your hopes up about not having a rant :D

Day 01: Humility is a Good Starting Point

I think some of the most powerful things ever said to me have been questions.

So, I know what some of you are thinking. You're looking at my time-stamps and saying:

But fear not! We are not having organized activities that go to crazy-late hours every night. Tonight a few of us just hung out and talked and took a brief trip. Our rest and well-being is a higher priority on the part of the church here (GranCo) than it is for most of our actual trip participants.

Disclaimer aside, it's been a good day. We had breakfast (i've missed chilaquiles, y'all) and a two-hour block of time to spend with God and being introverted, then we had lunch at a fantastic buffet (pr: boo-fet) restaurant. It was several people's first authentic Mexican food experience and it was fun to watch.

After lunch we piled into our two vans and headed to Obispado, an overlook that is on the top of a hill in the middle of the city. If you haven't ridden up steep, windy roads in a manual-transmission van, te lo recomiendo, as long as you trust your driver (get it, Ismael). We love to start our trips at Obispado because it's a beautiful spot to meet up, understand the lay of the land, cast some vision and pray over the trip and the city. It's humbling to see how big Monterrey is, to realize that nearly 6 million people are here, all of them loved desperately by God.

"REINDEER COWBOY!" so it turns out one of my hotel roommates talks in his sleep.

We played baseball today. When first i heard that our plan was beisbol, i wasn't thrilled (i am not so sport as Hillary), but i had so. much. fun. It was fantastic; good bonding, good conversation, good sporting.

Then...it happened. I told Elliott the other day that delayed gratification is something of a cornerstone of our faith. Sometimes, things are worth waiting for and are better for the wait. Jesus coming back for instance. But eventually all waits will end and fulfillment comes. That's what happened (fulfillment of a Wait, not Jesus coming back. Don't worry, you didn't miss it). After two agonizingly long years... I had tacos de trompo for dinner. I thought to myself beforehand "now Sam, you know that you've just built it up in your memory, they aren't that magical. they're just tacos." But no, they really were that magical.

That concludes the chronological portion of our (apparently very long) post. Let's transition to a more thematic structure....

Spiritual Warfare!
We talked about it in our training and stuff, but we surely got hit. Some physical, some emotional, some whatever. All will be well, but pray for us! I am so, so proud of how my team handled it though. I saw a lot of love go down, y'all. And that's how we fight. So much of the Enemy's scheme is to isolate us from each other; divide and conquer. But when we Love and when we speak Truth, we win.

I've felt so much Love for my team today, akin to what i feel for my HG (what up, hoi polloi), but i don't usually feel this loving this fast, so gracias to whomever is praying for team unity!

Mi Familia Aqui
Being back in Monterrey and seeing so many people again has been so good. Relationally, i am a very present-tense person (not saying that i am presently very tense about my relations ("that's not funny, Sam." well i think it is.)); i invest really hard in the relationships in front of me. And, while i deeply, unyieldingly love the people who aren't around me, i'm not very good at spending any time or effort expressing that love (is unexpressed love still love? i leave that to you). I've invested my heart in some people here, and seeing them again is beautiful. It can be hard seeing the growth and hearing of the life changes and things that i've missed. Marriages. Children. Life...even some Death. Part of me wishes i could have been here for it all.

God
This may get vulnerable, it's late. I love how well God loves me. My theory is that people love in the way they want to be loved (so watch how they love and love them that way). God loves me in way i need to be loved. He is so gentle with me, but persistent, but gentle. He sees through the walls and lies that i don't even know i've put up and He leads me into the Truth. He restores my soul.

This morning during my time with God, He asked me, "Why are you here?" I immediately began preparing my theological treatise on Love and Truth and God's Glory and Missions and Mexico...
but then he said, "What is your heart's answer?" That i wasn't really ready for. I knew the answer, but i didn't really like it. Identity. I have too much of my identity caught up in being the guy who does Mexico. I like knowing the city and being able to answer questions and feeling important because i am useful here. I guess it wasn't as much about God's Glory as i thought...a lot of it was about mine.

I felt so exposed before God. But He is so good, instead of crushing my pride or humbling me by letting me make a fool out of myself (which i am prone to), He gently showed that pride to me. And the gentleness with which He handled my brokenness was more humbling than anything else could have been in that moment.

I pray that we will always allow God to make us humble enough that he may use us mightily without pride taking root.

Day 00: If you’re reading this….

It means we’re not dead.

And: I got to sit next to Evan Grant!

We’re on our way! I’m typing this on a plane, but on a MSWord document, to transpose later. So…as mentioned earlier, we made it (but not while I’m writing, I’m still making it. #alreadybutnotyet #kingdomlife)

Our roadtrip was fun, Katie and Jay facilitated our drop-off and we arrived without incident (though a little later than my monochronological heart would like). 

WHOOOOOOOOOSH! Sorry, that was the sound of our plane taking off. 

So, we’re on the plane, all 26ish of us. I can feel the buzz of excitement in all the laughter and conversations around me, we’re ready. And it’s actually and truly happening. I’m grateful that I’m taking time to write because it allows me to process things that I’d ignore otherwise. And I’m grateful for the sneaky generosity of friends, it’s humbling and deeply, deeply appreciated (you know who you are). God is so good and I am requete excited to experience him moving.

I think that Joy is inextricably connected to Purpose and Identity. Knowing and being Who You Are and knowing and doing What You Are Made For is the deepest Joy you will ever feel. I know who I am and I know what I am made for.

Do you want to know? I know who you are and I know what you are made for... because it’s the same as me. 

I am defined by God’s Love for me. It’s the thing that matters about me, the thing that gives me life and makes me important. God made me the way I am because He loves the way I am. And has plans to help me walk more completely in that Identity.

I am made to live in God’s love and I am made to help others learn to do the same. That means Worship, that means Outreach, that means Discipleship, that means Service, that means Missions.

The extent to which you believe and live by these is the extent to which you will feel God’s Joy. Not happiness, that comes and goes. Deep, abiding, unshakeable Joy. (Philemon 6, y’all).

Anyway, I didn’t charge my computer, so I’m out of battery. I’ll post this once we get to the hotel tonight.

I cannot express deeply enough how much I desire for you to pray for us. It will literally make the difference in how things go. All I have to do is show up; you guys are fighting for us in the spiritual realm in a way that cannot be measured. God will have to show us when we get There just how powerful it is.

Gracia, paz, amor.

Not unaware.

or: "Sam's Rambly, Disjointed Thoughts on Spiritual Warfare, Plus a Tiny Team Update."
or: "P.S. Impossible Love"
or: "That joke at the end isn't funny"
or: "Enough Subtitles Already!"


We had our last training today. It was incredibly encouraging;our team is right where we need to be. It was the Spiritual Warfare/Conflict training, which is probably the most intense one we do.

Some thoughts:

I always think of Spiritual Warfare as a primarily defensive activity. The Enemy attacks, we defend ourselves and sometimes retaliate with some feisty prayer. I've never thought of the offensive side of Spiritual Warfare much; that we wage war by worshiping God, loving one another, speaking the truth and by sharing the Gospel. That's a beautiful offense.

It's crazy how Satan uses the same tactics over and over, just custom-fitted to different people. Lies. Darkness. Division. Distraction. Condemnation. Whenever we see these things, it ought be a giant red flag that says "hey! listen! (navi?) you're under attack!" Though if you think about the inherent nature of those tactics, they can be hard to see sometimes.

That's the beauty of the simplicity of how we fight though. It doesn't need to be reactive. We don't have to wait until we feel threatened. We should Love and Worship and Encourage and Speak at all times, whether we feel the attack or not (it's still there). Our method of waging warfare is beautiful and enjoyable (though stretching and uncomfortable sometimes). We Love deliberately*.

The other fantastically encouraging thing is that these attacks haven't somehow slipped past God's defenses; he didn't miss a block or stop paying attention (read Job). God deliberately allows certain attacks to come at us in order to train us, in order to bless us and refine us and make us more like Christ. That doesn't mean they come from God or that they are not designed to "steal, kill and destroy;" it just means that God has designs to redeem them for our Good.

So can we lose? Yes. And No. We can lose battles with the enemy when we are not keeping in step with the Spirit, when we choose sin and darkness and lies. But! We've already won the War. It's just the final stages now; though the fighting is still fierce sometimes.

Anyway, that's your sermonette for the evening. I won't even get started on Conflict; that's something i can diatribe on for days.

We had a team time today, broken down into guys and girls, where we talked about insecurities and hidden sins. It was so good (for the guys at least, i wasn't in the girls' group, as you may have pieced together). The vulnerability! The unity! The encouragement and prayer! Mmmm. Good. (it couldn't be "Mm, Mm, Good," that has to be the other team, for obvious reasons)

This is waxing somewhat rambly, so i'll stop now. We're leaving for Mexico on Friday; please be praying for us!



*Now when i say "Love," i don't mean our culture's definition of love. I don't mean the feel-good, happy, nice, warm, fuzzies (though it can be that sometimes). That love is cheap; it's garish.

I mean the real, crazy, hands-dirty, scandalous, self-sacrificing, do-what-is-best-not-what-feels-best, freedom-bringing, culture-transcending, never-failing, gentle, patient, fierce Love that always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. The type of Love that is impossible unless you are in Christ and filled with the Spirit.

I guess....you could say.....if you wanted......we need to be....amor like Christ.