#squadup

See how a used a hashtag and a pop culture reference in my title? It's because I'm hip to the lit jive the kids are spitting, yo.

ALSO WE HAVE OUR TEAM(S) FINALIZED AND I AM SO REQUETE STOKED.

All caps is so obnoxious. But I am excited! Stephen and Hillary and Sheryl and I spent time praying and we came up with the following two teams (awesome names courtesy of Stephen):

Team Gringo

Stephen Campbell
Hillary Sykes
Claudia Flores
Zuri Sanchez
Aylin Ortiz
Maria Ortiz
Myra Rangel
Savannah Davalos
Steven Gonzales
Maegan Whitt
Matt Martin
Miranda Grey
Zachary Smith
Alex Cates
Isaiah Cruz
Emily Goldston

Team Extranjero
Sam Baker
Sheryl S
Evan Grant
Matthew Zawadzki
Travis Wheeler
Riley Knippa
Elizabeth Bustamante
Scott Fuller
Grace Muenich
Kelsie Kirk
Camden Ogier
Monica Nava

The next few months will be training and team bonding. We'll have Cultural, Evangelism and Spiritual Warfare training times. By the time we go, my hope is for the team to have a feel similar to a homegroup, where we know and trust each other deeply.

Extranjero means a foreigner; an alien or stranger. Think 1 Peter 2:11. If you've read much of my Monterrey blog before, you'll know that I think life and short-term mission trips are really, really similar. We'll be going somewhere that isn't our home, for a short time, with a distinct purpose: to see people come to know Christ.

Please be praying for us; I'll post after our training times.

Letter Go

We had our Support Letter Sending Party this morning. We all met up at the church office to finalize, stamp, address and send our letters.

I used to be uncomfortable with the support-raising process; it felt like asking other people to pay for something I wanted to do. Over time, I grew to be ok with it, viewing it as a "necessary evil," since I couldn't afford the trips without the help, but still never really liked that it had to happen. This is the first year I've actually been excited about the process. The church working together as a body to reach the lost is a beautiful thing! Our team may have the time and opportunity to Go, but we're only the hand, as it were, we can't reach without the arm.

If you're supporting a missionary or ministry somewhere, you are a vital part of the work God is doing. Be praying for your missionary (especially if it's me!), God knows they need it. Prayer is the best thing you can give to anyone. It's the most powerful ministry tool we have. Stop reading this and pray...I'll wait. Go pray for your family and your hurting and lost friends, pray for the people who aren't your friends, pray for your church, pray for our trip to Mexico...there's so much need for prayer, it's not hard to see the need to "pray without ceasing." (1 Thes. 5:16)

Our team looks pretty fantastic this year, there are so many of us that our team leader, Stephen, and the Missions Team at Fellowship decided to send us as two teams to allow greater flexibility, effectiveness and safety. Stephen asked me to lead the second half, which I am super excited (and un poco nervioso) about. We're deciding how to set up the teams right now and will have  it finalized next week. Please pray for wisdom and sensitivity to the Spirit's leading for us!

This is gonna be so good, y'all.

Orale! Training Number Uno

I'ma be honest with you folks...actually, disregard that intro, I shouldn't have to preface honesty.

Let's operate on the assumption that I'm always being honest with you folks (or at least trying).

Well, mijos, I'm going back to Monterrey this Spring and I. Am. Stoked. I tried to play it cool last year and pretend like I was fine with not going. But it was rough. The people I love, going to the city I love, to do the ministry I love (and eat the tacos de trompo I love)...without me. It were rough. As always, we're operating under the assumption that God knew exactly what he was doing and my not-going fulfilled the triplicate purpose of all God's plans (it is for his Glory, for my Best and for others' Blessing), but I still don't see it. We worked through it though and all's well.

AND I'M GOING BACK! (I slept about an hour and a half last night, so...sorry if I sound deranged any, I really can't tell how I come across at this exact moment).

We had our support-raising training today and, for the first time ever, I actually caught a little vision for why support-raising is good...which is exciting. In Matthew, Jesus says where your treasure is, your heart will be also. Note that it's the heart that follows the treasure, not the other way around. The act of Sacrificial Giving can actually soften your heart to things God cares about. How clever of him to redeem something that can become an idol so easily by using it to guide our hearts back to him...when we're obedient. So, follow me here: since the heart follows the treasure, asking people to support something financially is giving them an opportunity to take small steps to see their heart changed in a profound way and allowing them to partner in God's work and stack some treasure in Heaven... pretty crazy stuff.

In case you're a real person and you actually end up reading this (I operate on the assumption that is rare); consider giving to something you want to see your heart soften towards.Where is your heart calloused? Towards the poor? missions? refugees? addicts? the lgbt community? Who do you struggle to love? Maybe donate to a ministry geared towards that type of person and see what God does.

 grace and peace y'all

2015: Perfect in Weakness (what God taught me this year)

Over the last quarter-century, I have acquired a mastery of maintaining a perpetual dichotomy of knowledge and belief; in my mind knowing a Truth while my heart clings to leftover fragments of a Lie. God – in his mercy – is very gently persistent in cleaning these lies out of my heart while the truth trickles down and brings healing. Sometimes God moves a little more forcefully to help emphasize a point and bring me to a deeper level of believing his truth. This year’s short-term mission trip to Monterrey, Mexico was a definite time of growth for me in the area of relying on God’s strength rather than my own; a time of relishing my weakness because it brings him greater glory than my strength ever would. Leadership, language and evangelism are all areas that I have come to view as areas of natural or spiritual gifting in my life; yet in all of them I found myself without the resources I had come to rely upon. In this sudden place of “lack,” I came to find – yet again – that Christ is sufficient and that to solely rely on him in weakness leads to greater fruit trying to operate from a place of self-sufficiency and “strength.”

Leadership and I have had a long and erratic history, but I’ve come to understand that it is something God is using me in. After years of lifegroup and homegroup leadership, I have even come to view myself as a leader. In 2013 and 2014, I had the privilege of leading our short-term trips to Mexico (with tremendous amounts of the administrative work done by Pastor Rodger). This year, however, we began to implement a more universal system of organization for our trips in order to make them more uniform and create a higher standard of excellence. The amount of time and focus required to make the Mexico trip what it needed to be was more than I had to spare (O! bitter admission for my pride). I was not the only one who saw the need though, and it was suggested that Justin lead the team this year. This suggestion was perfect for a host of reasons ranging from logistical benefits for this trip to future vision for the UTSA church plant. Justin’s leadership style – though precisely what was needed for the trip – is very different from mine and learning to work with and under it in the preparation process was extremely good for me. I have a tremendous amount of respect for Justin; his leadership is a large part of what allowed for a larger team and beautifully successful trip. It was difficult to admit to myself that my leadership style and experience were not sufficient, however. God used this to begin to prepare my heart for the trip; forcing me to depend on him for security rather than on my control over a situation or group.

Languages fascinate me and Spanish has been in my life since early elementary. I discovered that language acquisition came more naturally to me than it did to my peers in high school and then chose it as my minor at A&M. I studied Spanish in school, spent a summer learning by immersion in Monterrey and continued studying after graduation by working through the Rosetta Stone program. Yet for all of my learning, I had a pretty difficult time getting by in Monterrey during the trip. The things I wanted to say refused to come out of my mouth and the things that others would say to me refused to get through to my brain. This was particularly difficult during our time at UANL – the campus where English was not taught – as I was my group’s “translator.” Fortunately, we met someone who had moved to Monterrey from San Antonio and we were able to converse in English. However, my understanding of Spanish and being seen as “the gringo who (mostly) understands Spanish” had become quite the source of pride for me it turns out. And the difficulty I had with it just served to put me on yet another level of depending on God instead of my ability to communicate.

Initially (and naturally) terrifying for me, evangelism was always something I felt convicted about, but avoided in my early Christian life. Through Fellowship’s Outreach Class, however, I discovered the beauty and joy of sharing the gospel. I came to love it and view it as the central purpose of my being alive. And, after taking the class and being a trainer and doing a solid month of non-stop outreach in Mexico in 2011, I became pretty comfortable with it. Sharing my faith became natural and easy. This year’s trip to Mexico bore more immediate fruit than all of the past trips I have been on combined. We saw 15 people give their lives to Christ during our trip. It seemed like every time I looked up, I saw people praying together or sharing the gospel. It was so beautiful. And I was struggling with evangelism. Every time I tried to share the gospel, the story and the words and what metaphors to use and what questions to ask got so jumbled in my head that I ended up just stumbling through the basics of it every time. I had a student in the church ask me to share the gospel with his friend, then about halfway through he took over and preached the good news beautifully and his friend accepted Christ. It was so amazing to see this student realizing that he was equipped to share with his friend and lead him to Christ, but it still stung a little that he learned it at the expense of my pride. But through this God taught me to depend on the power of gospel itself and not my ability to present it.

So, the recurring theme in my life for this STM was the beauty of humble dependence on Christ. Though it was a discomfiting lesson for my ego to re-learn, there is nothing more joyous than total reliance on God. We are made to operate from that place of broken dependence because we are made to be close to God and to bring him glory. If my own strength is sufficient, my tendency (sad as it is) is to rely on that, to walk “on my own” and not to lean on God’s everlasting arms. As much as I do not like the thought of my weaknesses, they are a blessing he has given to me to keep me in intimate fellowship with him and to let his glory shine through me. True joy can only be found when we are functioning the way we are designed to function – in the context of relying on Christ. So I will join Paul in boasting in my weakness, and doing so gladly for they avail me more and more beautifully then my strength ever has or ever could.

Day 9: The breaking of the fellowship

Because Lord of the Rings.

Pues mijos, the last day went about as expected: church was good, but sad; lunch was delicious, but sad; our send-off at the airport was powerful, but sad. Something you should know: you can't love and serve people properly without giving them a part of your heart. This is beautiful and as it should be. However, when they leave your life; it hurts. This too is beautiful and as it should be.

Never withhold your heart from someone you are ministering to because they'll leave someday and hurt you. We're made to feel it when people leave. Think of how Paul writes to the churches he's helped plant (go read something like Philippians if you're having trouble thinking of where to start).

Suffice to say: God is good and hurt is ok and community is beautiful.

Glad to be back!

Day 8: Good to the last drop

Since I stayed up late last night, I decided to get up early this morning and go for a run. It was raining. I love running in the rain (apart from having wet socks, there are few things in the world that make me sad in the way that wet socks make me sad). Running in the rain - in a way akin to trail running - takes me back to the root of why I started running in the first place: it's fun.

Speaking of fun, we went to Casa Hogar today and sang and danced and played with kids. Cuteness overload. Such much. And yes, I am talking about how cute it is when I dance (...the spanish word you're looking for is mentira). This was the first time IGC (Iglesia Gran Comisión) has worked with Casa Hogar and they're hoping to have future opportunities to do so. I don't know why - I guarantee it's not due to our great holiness - but God's been good about timing our being here with the start of things. After dancing, we painted stars and an ark and a desert and heaven in the kids' room. We got paint all over ourselves (and when i say "ourselves," i do mean "each other"). My shirt has handprints and hearts and streaks and smiley faces all over it (vandalism!)...it's beautiful.

"We had our spaceship. but then it left." said Cammy

"My grandmother is my second favorite person, after Jesus." said Kaylen

"The old man dabbled in the dark arts of the calculus." said Craig

"I want to say a sentence of my favorite book." said Monica

"Aha! You've become self aware!" said Sheryl

"No, don't poke 'em in the panza!" said Sam
 
Tonight the church had a concert/rally at the hotel that they meet in on Sundays. The worship band dressed up super swanky and did an amazing job rocking out. A guy connected to the church shared some amazing and intense stories about his life and encouraged everyone not to waste their time and go all-in for following God. Afterwards, Mallory and Kelsie led one of our new friends through the gospel and she gave her life to Jesus! So, that as just really amazing. God showing off and reminding us that evangelism does happen in seasons, but he moves beyond that and we should always be ready (2 Timothy 4:2)

Currently, as the quote stream above might imply, we're exhausted and saying weird things in the hotel lobby as we hang out; trying to squeeze the last few drops out of our tiempo here. I'm gonna go party with my people. Have a great morning!

Day 7: before the cool done run out, i'll be giving it my bestest

Sometimes when you party all night in Mexico, it's hard to muster the conviction to update a blog. But, y'all are worth it. As is the decompression time - there's something lovely about sitting by yourself in the stillness of the world when the rational people have all gone to sleep.

Today was our last day for official, scheduled evangelism (i.e. it should be happening everywhere). We headed back to the Tec campus (i, with some doubt as to whether it might be better to stay at la uni since the...fishing...had been so successful). Sheryl and I teamed up (#classic - just like back in '09 y'all (in case you were wondering, the "#" was pronounced "poundsign" in my mind)), but were feeling a bit off, so we prayed for a while before we got started (always do that, btw, when evangelizing). We ended up talking to the first girl we met, Daniela, for over an hour and a half. We talked about everything ever, mostly languages though (which i just loved). Sheryl made a slick transition into the gospel and we poked at spiritual things for a bit before she had to leave for class. Then we met a friend of Javier's, tried to meet some cats, and went to lunch.

After lunch, we had plans to meet up with a guy Cammy and Kelsie had met before lunch. On the way to meet him, we met a girl who stopped to tie her shoe near us and she came with us to platicar. We all sat and talked through culture and religion and language and life in general. Then, Javier joined us and we played "ninja" and chilled before we went to meet back with the group. We saw Julio, the friendly atheist, today. Sheryl and I met him in 2011 and he was all kinds of open to talking with us. Today, he said "I think your God wanted me to see you," and though he said it jokingly, I agree. It's crazy that he'd still be in Monterrey, much less in school, much less that we would see him. I hope some fruit comes of it.

Have you ever made deep, prolonged eye-contact with a deer as it slowly steals a granola bar from your mouth? Kaylen has.

We had about an hour and a half to rest after the outreach: I got to have really good conversations with Cammy and Sheryl about missions, then with Craig and Javier about life and stuff, and I even got a short nap to recharge before tonight. That was good because tonight was Party Night (part one).

Hang on, there's a bag of Doritos that is upside-down on the shelf across from where I'm typing in the hotel lobby and it is really hurting my soul.

Ok, crisis averted. Right, parties: we had two parties tonight, one for North Monterrey (UANL) and one for South Monterrey (ITESM). Half our team (myself included) went with Mario to the North Party at Julio's house and half (myself not included) went to the South Party at the Handal's house. Our party was hopping, yo - we had a good turnout from the church and from our new contacts. Julio preached the gospel to everyone and then we prayed and ate. Carne asada. It was so, so good. Somehow, both of our vegetarians ended up at the party were all the food was meat, but they did a great job!

About 3 minutes after we started eating, it started raining (did i mention we were outside? no? sorry, we were). It was warm, delicious rain, but not conducive to an outdoor party, so our hosts moved us under the patio and then they set up some tarps and we partied on - slightly soggy, but very undeterred. We talked and ate and laughed and played "pterodactyl" (well, a few of us did. everyone else stared in confusion as we tried to sing to jason mraz as pterodactyls. have you ever seen a pterodactyl singing to jason mraz? it's pterrifying, i assure you).

Tomorrow is playing with kids and painting and Party Night (part two), pray for healthy team conflict management and for our contacts to continue to make good connections with the church!

God's really good friends (all the time), take some time and enjoy the blessings he's given you.